Search
  • herology101

SHE checks her source


Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? At the age of 9, a misguided soccer ball made its way to the center of my chest and took me out Goliath-style. I remember feeling like every breath that I ever took was emptied into the open air and that my lungs would soon follow. As I lay there trying to catch my breath, everything around me became muffled. I couldn’t react verbally or physically to any of the questions or comments my peers hurled at me as they ran up to see if I was still alive.

That is what it felt like to be betrayed by someone you respected.

Betrayal (n.) the act of failing someone or thing or deserting someone or thing especially in time of need.

While I did not need anything tangible from this person, I did need to know that they could be trusted. When they disappointed me I felt like a huge ball of distrust hit me right in the chest.

For the next 24 hours, I walked around speechless. I tried to process the situation in so many different ways so that it could somehow make sense. But sometimes the solution to the pain isn’t always obvious. That night I spoke to God and asked for him to lift the burden of resentment, anger, and shame.

“...weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”

-Psalm 30:5

By the next morning, I felt completely weightless. The bitter feelings that kept me a prisoner no longer held the chains over my situation. As I began to meditate on this emotional weight that was lifted, I realized that while I may not have found the solution to the pain, I knew the source of my joy.

The obvious answer is Jesus!

But to end it there would be to discount the battle it took to get there. Ultimately, I believe that I was able to overcome my mental prison because God reminded me that I am not to use a human being as my source. But what does that look like?

I do not overvalue the position or the divine appointment of a person because I know they too fall short.

“...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

-Romans 3:23

I do not depend on a person to be my reason for having joy.

“Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

-Nehemiah 8:10

I do not expect the person that wronged me to be the same person to fix me.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

-Matthew 11:28

Our Father wants us to use Him as our source for every situation in life. He knows that the world will fail and betray us, and make us want to give up on being who He called us to be. However, when we focus on Christ as our standard and source, the mistakes of others can more easily be forgiven because we never expect them to be perfect because we already lean on the One who is.

Betrayal has a way of knocking you off your feet and causing you to feel breathless in a room full of air. Well God is calling us to inhale, so He can restore what we thought was lost.

Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you know?

How does your perspective change when you no longer see them as your source?


4 views

Recent Posts

See All

SHE withstands the heatwaves

About three times a year the Bay Area gets hit with a “heatwave”. Now if you live in any other typically hot area like my second home in Dallas. Temperatures of 91 degrees are laughable and considered

SHE is made new

Our annual girl’s trip took us once again to Broken Bow, OK. We had been two years prior, but a different cabin was promising for different experiences. People that know me, know I do NOT camp, I GLA

"God is within her, she will not fall..."

                                          -Psalm 46:5