SHE stops knocking on closed doors
Several birthdays ago, I remember going to my parents with a list of demands...I mean wishes that I wanted as gifts. I don’t remember how old I was but all I remember is that it was still cool for me to ask for Skechers. Let that marinate.
I remember showing my mom the different styles that were out, and which specific ones I wanted. In the days leading up to my birthday, I noticed that my parents were becoming increasingly secretive and I was temporarily banned from going into their room. They knew that my history of snooping for gifts around birthdays and Christmas would ruin whatever surprise they had neatly wrapped up in their closet somewhere.
My favorite day of the year arrived, and my parents told me to close my eyes. As my eyelids fell lightly over my eyes, I began playing out all the cool ways I would step out of the bus on my first day of school with the hottest kicks that the early 00’s could endorse. “Ok, open your eyes!”
As my eyes opened like a theater’s red curtain, my heart simultaneously dropped. I could decipher the iconic ‘S’ printed on the side of the shoe, but the rest of the shoe seemed almost unrecognizable. In order to not appear ungrateful, I mustered up enough breath to support the words “thank you” as they struggled to come out of my mouth.
Still to this day, I’m not really sure where my parents found those Skechers, but they definitely weren’t something you would find in your everyday store for purchase. They had about an inch of white rubber platform, followed by an off white cloth material that was just screaming, “Good luck keeping me clean!”
For the sake of avoiding cliffhangers, those shoes quickly went from off white to yellow to brown by the end of the first semester. Because of their rare style, I believe they possessed the power to attract every piece of lint, dirt particle, and grass stain that could be absorbed. Needless to say I never asked for Skechers again.
Talk about disappointment when you ask for something and get something different in return. I’ve been asking God for “open and closed doors” lately. It sounds really good when it’s said in the midst of amazing praise and worship music, but it’s hard to live it in the face of life’s everyday uncertainty. If we were to be honest, sometimes when we ask God to give us an answer, we have expectations that His answer will most likely match ours.
But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
When His answer is different than what we wanted, how quickly are we to act on it? If you’re anything like me, I typically check the spiritual phone line to double check that there wasn’t a break in communication...maybe I missed something. When we ask for open and closed doors, those are words of surrender that you no longer want to control the outcome and instead trust God to make the path clear for you.
It doesn’t mean it’s not disappointing when He closes the door you thought you would or could easily walk through. We may want to question the validity of God’s decision and go back to the drawing board to see if there’s anything that we may have misheard or misinterpreted. Our own disappointment fades into disbelief and we station ourselves in a state of limbo between our own ambition and His answer. When God gives you an open door, walk through it...even if it doesn’t look like what you had imagined.
What doors are you asking Him to open or close?
How do you react when God closes a door you thought would be open?